have you watched star wars III:revenge of the sith?

lately,,I feel that I’m like I’m Anakin..

…

sheesh..

i just realized that..

…

i feel ..the dark side..of myself is returning..

like I’m spiraling down the dark side..

…

ho hummm..

parang..ang dami lang conflicts within my life right now..

“everyone’s turned against me..” –Anakin

…

i really don’t know..i’m just confused..

“muddled your thoughts have become..” –Yoda

…

for the past weeks..i’ve been pondering what’s bothering me..that makes me feel unsure of myself..

why am I not happy?

i thought that maybe..this is not really me..and who I really am was who I was in the past..

the past looks really inviting..

but still..i haven’t totally given myself up..

lots of questions in my mind..

will the people from the past accept me like I never left them?

will the people around me now..leave me if they found out?

what will happen if I did end up being swallowed by the dark side?

who am I really?

…

maybe I should change my layout..

black and red looks nice together..

…

in the end..

“..i believe there’s still good in him..” -Padme

nanay and lil sis were right..

di daw ako seryoso sa kanya..

because i realized 3 things when I was in the province..

1. things won’t work out with the girl I thought to be “the girl” for me
2. I think I like her as a friend..or bestfriend..instead of a girlfriend..;P
3. I don’t need a girlfriend
4. because I have a lot of girlfriends in the JC NEB!!!!;P

nanay and lil sis were right..di daw ako seryoso sa kanya..

girlfriends:

·        maiaiaia..*ayan ah!!!una ka na!!!naks*

·        riz

·        laine

·        piatots

·        rose

·        liann

·        che

·        jc

·        maine

·        jam

i’ve got a lot!!!yeah!!!;P

bad trip..i don’t have the lyrics of talaga naman..i let someone borrow it kasi eh..i'll post it na lang pag nakuha ko na..;P

ho humm…

i feel so blue lately…

for the past few weeks…

i feel so…lost…

i guess something is amiss…

Drenched in cold showers of nameless pain?
Kiddo, you've stood in my rain.
Feeling like sucked in a vacuum
that leaves you numb?
I've been there before.
Not wanting to feel any more.
Take comfort in the fact that it will go
away.
The sun will dry up the puddle in another
day.
Keep it in the back of mind.
Give it rest and you will find,
Dark clouds begin to part
As time mends your hurting heart.
And then you'll be able to say,
"Ei, bud you've stood in my rain."

maybe I just need someone to love…

someone I can call mine…

sheesh..what’s eating me???!!!

rain is pouring once more…

i hate it…

i guess I really need a girlfriend…

to all of my beloved fans..

maiaiaia,,nay,,kerwin,,dino,,pia,,annuh,,estelle,,piatots,,ej,,kuya sayc,,

hrap talaga pag maraming fans!!!wahahaha!!!

who patiently waited..who checked my blog each and every passing day..

well..

i’m baaaaaaaaaaacccccckkkk!!!!!woot woot!!!:D

yeah!!!!hell I’m back!!!woot woot!!!:D

sorry for the long delay!!!its my friggin PC’s fault..also..i go out a lot..and I mean a LOT..sorry bout that..but..past is past and now that I’m back lemme assure you that you’ll have a swell time with my new entries!!!! ;P

firstly, is the YFC..yes..YFC!!!Y-F-C!!!i joined the YFC and before you hear yourself shout some cursed words that you never knew in your entire life..read the latest scoop!!!:D

don’t worry..i’m still alive!!!hehehe..and yes..am still in one piece..

so i went to Infant Jesus Academy in Marikina(woot woot!) for our camp..together with..guess who???my nanay!!awww man!!we’ve been together for how many weeks!!!and i still end up together with her!!!THANKFULLY!!!God loves me so much that He sent caps along!!!good grief!!!imagine???being stuck with rizza???!!!ohmaygash!!!baka mabaliw ako!!!!

btw,,check out my footnotes later for further information about the RCIS(hehe..wait and see for the meaning..)

so we were supposed to meet up with bugi(batchmate) around 7 pm at the snackbar(in front of our dear school, Claret)

the thing is..i was late..hehe..so after arriving a few minutes late..we set off to the treacherous journey towards the dark abyss of kamias..sorry for the hyperbole..dunno where that came from..anyway..we met up with trina and justin(the chapter heads of Kamias)..they were waiting for us!!!when we arrived trina said something like: “antagal niyo ah!“ and my friends..my so-called-friends sold me!!!!!they told trina that i was the one who arrived late!!!talk about first impression!!!!

we rode another participant’s car..on our way to the venue we were talking and laughing loudly as if we owned the car!!good thing the owner was nice..hehe..we talked about the itlogs once again c/o my nanay..sheesh..we better stop using this itlog word!!!i’m serious!!!

i was also quite giddy..i crossed my fingers hoping the venue would be close to ****’s house..unfortunately or fortunately..it wasn’t..

okaaaaayy..we arrived on the scene..

1st day: Friday night

we had breakfast and sang some songs..sh*t!!!i never had the talent!!!!God truly loves me!!!!because i was with my nanay and caps..woot woot!!!and i can affirm you guys that there are actually frustrated rock stars within the JC NEB!!!if you only heard them sing!!!!it was a disaster!!!magic word!!!had a good laugh about it.. and i was bugging caps so he can’t sleep!!!woot woot!!!

we also had a talk..and i saw someone familiar from claret!!!i was shocked..he’s a changed man..:D

2nd day: Saturday morning

same stuff..woke up early..i was the last one to wake up..no wonder..had breakfast..we were with bugi all the time..and..i pitied him..nahawa siya kay rizza!!!!even the laugh and the way they think!!!puro ka itlogan na lahat!!!!tsk tsk tsk..poor bugi..

had some talks..it was cool..and off to lunch!!! :D

Saturday afternoon

i don’t know if the repentance talk came in after or before lunch..nevertheless..it was the best talk!!!even though some of the sharers really hit me below the belt!!!not literally though!!!i liked it anyway..it made me ponder about my past..hehe..curious about it???well..tough luck!! i don’t mean to be mean..but i ain’t talking about my past!!!

anyway..dino and rose visited us!!!it was cool!!!we also had a confession!!!the priest was great!!!and for the first time in 3 confessions..i have finally confessed a sin i haven’t confessed!!!whew!!!that was a biggie!!!it felt great!!!promise..thanks God!!! ;P

the bad thing was..dino was there and when i saw him when i came from the confession i immediately committed a sin!!!!sheesh!!!bad trip!!!

also,,dino borrowed money from me..left me the gradball pics for nanay..and voila!!!nanay exited the confesion room and she was..and we just talked..she was laughing..good thing i waited on her outside the confessional room..holding the pics..God is present..:D

Saturday night

we were officially welcomed in the yfc family!!!woot woot!!!

it was great!!!we were given some time to reflect on the things we did..i took it seriously..magic word!!!i took it seriously!!!it was all good throughout the evening!!!

i like the worship part..it was cool..

except when i saw chaz!!!puro hiritan na naman kami nung nagkita kami!!!!

chaz: janlo!anong ginagawa mo dito??!!napariwara ka ata!!!

janlo: lol

each group was expected to present something..awwwww...i remember our summercon!!!litmus!!!!

our group danced and everyone had fun..other groups sang..hey!!!i heard someone sing love moves!!i think..it was great!!!there were a lot of girls who could really sing!!!

ang puso ko..ang puso ko..:D

we also watched kalye onse presentation..it was funny..i remembered my nanay..balot..itlog..hehehe..

3rd day:

woke up late..we had to go to mass..and i was wishing that **** was there..too bad they weren’t..

almost forgot!!!during the communion a lady with her baby was in front of me..and after the mother received the Body of Christ she went off thinking her kid was with her..now it was my turn..the thing was..the baby girl(she’s a girl!!) in front of me was reaching for her mother..she was cute!!!magic word!!!at the same time..the mother was also reaching for her kid..sheesh..talk about good parenting..she should have walked towards the girl and picked her up..sheesh..anyway..i took the girl’s hand and i guided her towards her mother..the beauty of it was..she turned around and faced me..she looked so cute!!!magic word!!!awwwww!!!!anyway..i guided her slowly towards her mother..and that’s that!!!:D

after the mass we had some lunch and proceeded to worship..it was great!!!

we packed our stuff and each left towards their own path home renewed and filled with God’s Love.. ;P

unfortunately..we had other plans..my nanay and i planned to go to ****’s house..bugi tagged along and so we set off!!!woot woot!!!

i wasn’t sure of the place but i was confident that i might remember the place considering that i’ve been there before..to cut the long story short..we got lost..hehehe..and my companions..bugi and rizza..were fuming mad..hehehe..

thankfully,,we reached the place!!!woot woot!!!ms.ferido welcomed us and told us to eat which i didn’t refuse..so did they..we ate and had a good laugh..and ohmaygash!!!**** was there!!!woot woot!!!anyway..after eating we sat down in the sofa where **** was watching TV..we had a few laughs once again..**** and i talked with each other about showbiz stuff..bugi and rizza were bored to death i could see..or tired to death..so at around 6pm..we left and decided to call it a day!!!

while walking outside i heard **** shouting my name..woot woot!!!

reason: i left my cellphone(it was unintentional!!!magic word!!!)

hehe..so she handed me my cellphone and bade each other goodbye..awwwwww..

and off we went once again..now..we didn’t get lost..but..the jeep we rode..if it was really a jeep broke down near the fountain..and we nanay..saw something in the fountain..itlog..sheesh..so we laughed and dropped off the zombie-like bugi to his ride home whilst i had to accompany nanay home because I PROMISED SOMEONE THAT I WOULD TAKE GOOD CARE OF HER AND THAT SOMEONE SHOULD REPAY ME SOMEDAY IN THE NEAR FUTURE!!!!btw,,that someone isn’t the one you guys are thinking..magic word..anyway i dropped her off the tricycle bay and went home..tired..yet..fulfilled at the sametime..

God loves me..:D

its now our first meeting since the summercon..and i guess we were all excited to see each other again after a long period of time!!!yeah!!!

i’m not exactly excited to see them..but don’t get me wrong!!!i wanna see them but I already saw some of them before the meeting..anyways..moving on..

I was dressed to kill!!!woot woot!!!

the reason for that was I came from UA&P..sheesh..talk about changing it then trying to blend in..bad vibes tsong..i needed to fix my enrollment..i haven’t properly enrolled yet..forgot to pass the transcript..hehe..

I wore my human shirt,,faded levi’s pants,,k-swiss shoes and my DKNY or whatever the brand is belt!!!woot woot!!!i also wore the glasses!!!yeah!!!!

anyway..while on the car towards the CMLI office..i was thinking about being quiet instead of the usual loud me..sheesh..guess some of the YFC stuff rubbed on me that day!!!hehehe!!!where was i??ok!!!upon reaching the gate of the CMLI office!!!!woot woot!!!

so when I rang the doorbell..guess who opened it???it was dino!!!!and we were like:

dino and I stared at each other for a few seconds..it was as if an angel passed by..dino’s reaction was..shocked..i was just smiling..then he held his hand up for a high five!!!i slapped him a high five and we were like:

dino and me:OOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!(while slapping high fives)

dino:ang gwapo mo na ah!!!!!!

me:well..*while walking towards the door*

(I saw the other JC NEB in the office..and they were like..shocked..i think..but they were smiling!!!:D)

dino:ang gwapo mo na porke bago lang yung shirt mo ah!!!

me:well..

(I can’t exactly remember what happened..i guess I slapped the other JC NEB with high fives except I guess for mam fely,,mam normie,,maiaiaia and my lil sis..i hugged them..methinks..)

me:ui!!ui!!!YFC na ako!!!!!

dino:buti ka pa janlo!!yung iba..pinagpalit yung YFC para sa hongkong!!!*while looking at RB*

me:dino!!dino!!!di dapat ganyan kausapin si RB!!!

dino:ano??

me:ganito dapat..*while walking to rb*..hattatatatatat haihaihai hui munana!!!*while bowing down in front of rb*

all:wahahahahaha!!!

after a few moments of comic relief..i decided to sit down and to have few minutes rest..or I thought so..my lil sis and maiaiaia told me to accompany them to 7 11..because they were going to buy pepsi ice/fire..sheesh..talk about great timing..anyways..i tagged along together with kerwin..

we walked towards 7 11 and just found out..they have no pepsi ice/fire..grrrr!!!so we decided to buy some sundae at mcdo matalino!!!woot woot!!!caramel sundae!!!yum yum!!!

maiaiaia and ker:oreo mcflurry

laine:king cone

me:sundae caramel!!!yeah!!!

also..i didn’t notice that my student moderator was at mcdo too!!!my mommy told me after a few weeks that ms.lavara saw me at mcdo and I didn’t even say hi to her!!!awwww maaaannn!!!the truth was..i didn’t mean it!!!!magic word!!!!anyways..i went to school and visited her..i explained to her everything..and..we were just laughing together with my mommy at her office..she said:

ms.lavara:“ayang anak mo ah!!!inisnab yung beauty ko!!!porke may kasamang dalawang babae!!!!”

mommy ko:”ala ka pala eh!!!inisnab mo daw si ms.bing o!!!pa chicks chicks ka na lang ah!!!ganyan na pala..”

ms.lavara:”ganyan na pala..”

me:”mam!!!hindi ko po kayo napansin!!!mabaog man ako!!!!”

mommy ko and ms.lavara:”baog ka na!!”

anyways..we went back to the CMLI office to have our meeting..and yep!!we have a hell of work to do!!!and believe me..i think that we’ll be OSY soon!!!

OSY-Out of School Youth

nice one..:D

after the meeting..we decided to sup at KFC..too bad laine,,carlo and kevin left early..awwwww..

our seating arrangement was like this..how am I supposed to explain this..might as well give it a try..bear with me..

dino sat beside rizza and in front of dino is mai and sitting beside her is pia..whew!and there’s the divider..yep..we occupied to tables..rose sat between the divider and me..rb is beside me..in front of rb is caps..beside him and in front of me is jay..kerwin is between jay and the divider..hope you got that one..

anyway..here’s our conversations..

JC NEB’s chicken talk:

1^st scene:we were talking about kevin being quiet during the meeting..

rose:bakit ang tahimik ni kevin???

me:oo nga!!!bakit???!!!anong nangyari dun???!!!

jay:ewan ko dun..

me:ang weird talaga nun..

rose:sama mo naman..

kerwin:kaya nga..don’t judge a book by its cover..

(caps and rb were with us on the table..wondering why they aren’t in the conversation???caps as usual was talking with someone on his cell and rb..well..he’s busy eating..)

jay:oo nga..wag niyong i-judge si kevin..hindi siya book..

all:wahahahaha!!!

*maiaiaiaia left already..aaaaawwwww..

2^nd scene:I put some gravy on my plate for my fries.. after eating some fries..my good old friend rb suddenly said..”janlo,,pasawsaw ha??” and I was like..”sure sure” after dipping his fries on my gravy..guess what???he dipped his friggin finger on the gravy!!!!!sheeesh!!!talk about manners!!!!

me:kadiri ka rb!!!!

rose,,caps and ker:wahahahaha!!!

jay:ang baboy friend!!!!

rose:rb,,kadiri ka!!!

me:ang baboy mo rb!!!

rb:okay lang yan janlo!!!*while munching a few meters away from my face!!!!sheeeshh!!!*

me:rb naman!!!ang baho ng hininga mo!!!!*while transferring to the seat beside pia*

all:wahahahaha!!!!

3^rd scene:dino saw my glasses and borrowed it..

dino:bagay ba???*while feeling gwapo*

me:dino pwede ba???

riz:*trying to stop her giggles..*

dino:suotin ko to paglabas janlo ha?

me:dino..wag kang pupunta sa dilim ha??baka masaksak ka sa mukha mo!!!

dino:hahahaha!!!sama mo naman!!!

rose:dino ang pangit!!!*diring diri yung mukha ni rose*

caps:ay dino!!!bagay na bagay sa iyo!!!*sarcastic*

dino:bakit??pangit ba???bagay kaya!!!

rb:dino di bagay sa iyo!!!

dino:bagay naman di ba pia??

pia:bagay kaya sa iyo dino..

me:pia..lam mo hindi ko alam kung gusto mong mapahamak si dino o ano eh!!

pia:*laughs*di kaya!seryoso ako dun!bagay kay dino..

*kuya JV fetched rose and we sang..”muling ibalik ang pag-ibig..”yikee!!!

after rose left..we decided to go to nanay’s house..we just talked and talked..i guess we were pretty beat by that time..anyways we had a swell time..ho-humm..i really missed my family..aaaaaaawwwww..until next time guys!!!miss ya!!!;D

mai: I like your voice maiaiaia!!!magic word!!!!in love ata yung taong ito!!!blooming!!!wahahahahaha!!!

dino: wow!!!pano ka nakapunta???di ba grounded ka????wahahahahaha!!!

george: yikeeeeee..si..wahahahahahahahaha!!!

rizza: itlog ka..galing pa naman ng YFC..tsk tsk tsk..

rose:girl na girl ka na ah!!!!ganda mo na!!!!naks!!!!!!;D

kevin: bakit ang tahimik mo???ang kulit mo nung summercon tapos ngayon para kang binagsakan ng mundo!!!cat got your tongue???

rb: hatatatatat hayayayaya hoihoi mwananana hay hatatatata..*while bowing*

jay: bakit ang tahimik ni kevin??? “bobo siya ngayon eh..”

caps: same as always..hawak pa rin ang cell..tawag..text..

carlo: best friend!!!!!!!!!;D

pia: ganda pa rin ng hair!!!bakit hindi nakatali????wahahahahaha!!!

laine: DUMBO!!!!!;P

well.. I really missed you guys..glad to see you again!!!magic word!!!